Next Contestant
by blazing
Summary: It's Edward's birthday and his brothers have decided to take him out for a 'Guy's Night'.  Edward isn't happy when he finds out that this means a strip club.  What will he tell his wife when he get's home?  This is a one-shot that I wrote for fun!


**So, I've had some extra time on my hands lately and thought I'd just write a lemon for the fun of it! This completely came out of my head as I was writing it and I'm sure there may be some stories like this out there but if there are I haven't read them! I hope you all enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight. That all belongs to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.**

**EPOV**

"You guys are real asshole's you know that!" I exclaimed to my two brothers.

"Oh, come on Eddie boy. It's not that bad. Besides it's your birthday." Emmett spoke up.

"Yeah, we never get to do anything with just the three of us anymore. This day was suppose to be all about us doing guy stuff." Jasper chimed in.

"You do realize that Alice and Rosalie are going to kill you two and that Bella will most likely castrate me!" I seethed. " Besides, I thought the 'guy stuff' you were referring too was the golf game that we played earlier and then the go karts that we raced around on all afternoon!"

"Come on Edward the night is young and your woman isn't expecting you home until midnight." Jasper pleaded with me.

"Besides, I heard from Rosie that she and Alice were taking Bella out for a night on the town tonight." Emmett smiled at me.

Well that definitely didn't make me feel any better. Here I was wanting to spend some time with my new wife but instead my butt hole brothers have decided to drag me into this sleazy establishment and then I find out that my wife is out with her sister-in-laws living it up. Those three could definitely get themselves into trouble without us watching out for them.

"And your really thought it was a good idea for you to send them out together!" I told Emmett. "Without us!"

"Actually they are being well protected tonight. Jacob and Leah were going out with them so Jake will keep an eye on them." Great that's just what I wanted to hear.

"Settle down Edward. You know Jake won't let anything happen to them." Jasper said.

I shrugged my shoulders and sat down at the table by the stage and Emmett and Jasper sat down next to me. I really couldn't believe that they brought me to a tittie bar. If I wanted to see tits I could go home and look at my wife's!

I was sulking to myself when some woman with size DD's came up to us to take our order.

"What can I get for you fella's tonight?" She asked in what I was assuming to be her sexy voice but it just made me want to vomit.

"I'll have a beer." Emmett piped in.

"Make that two." Jasper said and then looked at me.

"I'll have a coke." Someone has to be the designated driver tonight it might as well be me.

"Okay, I'll be right back with those." She smiled and then walked off.

"Gentlemen can I have your attention please. Tonight we have a little treat for you. This is a one time only event so enjoy it while it lasts boys. I'd like you to help me welcome to the stage the voluptuous, vivacious vampire Vicky!" The DJ announced.

Good God! Could this really get any worse. I sat in my chair while the stripper made her way out onto the stage. Suddenly the music was pumping and I was listening to Nickelback's 'Next Contestant'.

"_I judge by what she's wearing just how many heads I'm tearing off of asshole's coming on to her. Each night seems like it's getting worse."_

I looked up to the stage and there was a fairly petite woman standing up there wearing a mask and a cape. I could see that she had brownish colored hair but it was pulled up into a high bun on her head. She reached over and grabbed the pole that was right in front of us and hooked her right leg around it and started to twirl around the pole.

"_And I wish she'd take the night off, so I don't have to fight off, every asshole coming onto her. It happens every night she works. They'll go and ask the DJ, find out just what would she say. If they all try tried coming on to her. Don't they know it's never going to work."_

She stopped spinning and unhooked her leg. She had her back to the pole and her front was facing us. She whipped open her cape and underneath she was wearing the sexiest red lace bra and panty set. It covered everything but if you used your imagination you could definitely see what you wanted to. I mentally slapped myself for thinking this about this girl in front of me. Bella would kill me if she knew I was here.

She slide down the pole and spread her legs out as she went down. As she did this she trailed her fingers from the hand that wasn't holding on to the pole from her mouth and straight down her chest, between her breasts. She didn't stop there though. She kept going down her lean stomach right down to between her legs. There she sat squatted in front of me and rubbing herself on top of her panties.

"_They think they'll get inside her, with every drink they buy her as they all try coming on to her. This time somebody's getting hurt. Here comes the next contestant."_

She stood back up and whipped the cape completely off of her and threw to the back of the stage. As she stood up I could see the amazing 'fuck me' boots she was wearing. She strutted around the stage and you could see every guy in the room had their mouths hanging open. Then I realized that I did too. God I'm going to hell. How in the hell am I going to explain this to Bella tonight.

"_Is that your hand on my girlfriend? Is that your hand? I wish you'd do it again, I'll watch you leave here limping. I wish you'd do it again, I'll watch you leave here limping. There goes the next contestant."_

I noticed that 'Vicky' was spending a lot of time on our end of the stage. She would shimmy her ass all the way down to the floor and the lay down and thrust her hips up like she was fucking the air. I was trying hard to think of anything that could make the now raging hard on in my pants go away but nothing was working.

"_I even fear the ladies. They're cool but twice as crazy. Just as bad for coming on to her. Don't they know it's never going to work. Each time she bats an eyelash, somebody's grabbing her ass. Everyone keeps coming on to her. This time somebody's getting hurt. Here comes the next contestant."_

She licked her lips and rolled over so that she was on all fours and crawled toward the edge of the stage. I could see her eyes through the mask she was wearing and they felt so familiar to me. They definitely didn't look like they belonged to a girl that was up her on the stage flaunting her goodies. She got up on her knees and grabbed at her boobs through her bra. She started to fondle them and I could see she was actually getting herself worked up. I couldn't help but stare at the crotch of her panties and notice a little wet spot right in the middle.

I think I growled.

"_Is that your hand on my girlfriend? Is that your hand? I wish you'd do it again, I'll watch you leave here limping. I wish you'd do it again, I'll watch you leave here limping. There goes the next contestant."_

She stood back up and went back to the pole. She swung around it a little more with both of her legs wrapped around it. Then all of a sudden she had herself turned upside down and her legs were holding her up. Damn I could think of somewhere else that those legs could be wrapped around. I mentally wanted to slap myself. Bella was going to really kill me when I got home tonight and wanted to fuck the hell out of her. She wouldn't be happy that this was the reason why.

"_I'm hating what she's wearing, everybody here keeps staring. Can't wait till they get what they deserve. This time somebody's getting hurt. Here comes the next contestant. Is that your hand on my girlfriend? Is that your hand? I wish you'd do it again, I'll watch you leave here limping. I wish you'd do it again, I'll watch you leave here limping. There goes the next contestant."_

The music started to die down and she slowly made her way off the stage. I sat there holding tightly to the glass of coke I hadn't even realized was brought out by the waitress. I took one really long chug of my soda and then looked over to my brothers who were laughing their asses off at me.

"What?" I asked them feeling really pissed off and horny as hell right now.

"Nothing little brother. So did you like Vicky?" Jasper asked.

I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks.

"Yeah, so anyways Edward, there's a little more to your birthday present." Emmett added with a smirk.

"What did you do Emmett?" I asked him.

"Nothing that you won't thank me for later." He said.

Suddenly they both had grabbed one of my arms and were leading me to the back of the club.

"Stop it. Where in the hell are we going. Would you two let go of me." I kept up my protests.

"Oh Eddie, shut it. It's only a lap dance." Emmett said.

"What?" I nearly screeched like a girl.

"Don't worry Edward. She can't touch you and you can't touch her. It'll be over in a little while and then we'll take you home to Bella. Heck you might even enjoy it just a little." Jasper smiled.

"You two are some sick fucks you know that. How could I….." I didn't have a chance to respond because the door to the room opened and there stood Vicky.

She didn't say anything but just motioned with her fingers for me to come in. I turned to look back at my brothers but they were already making their way back to the front of the club. I looked back at Vicky and she pointed to the couch that was in the middle of the room.

I hung my head and entered the room. "I'm really sorry miss but I don't think we should do this. You see I'm married and I'm sure my wife is going to want to cut my balls off and feed them to me for breakfast just because I came here. I can't imagine what she would do if she realized that I got a lap dance too." I said nervously.

Vicky walked up to me and placed her finger over my lips to silence me. She then led me to the couch and pushed on my chest so I would sit down. I did and every ounce of guilt came pouring into me. She turned around and picked up a remote and started some music. She was slowly swaying her hips back and forth and started to touch herself and rub her hands up and down her sides and her stomach.

"Oh God, I really, really shouldn't be here." I said again and started to get up. She put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back against the couch. Then she climbed on top of me and straddled my lap. Shit, if she sat down she would definitely see that I was a little too happy to see her.

"I thought you weren't suppose to touch me." I said to her. She smiled and then brought her hands up to my face. There was something so familiar about the way that she caressed my face.

She took one of her hand away from my face and brought it back to her hair. She released it from its bun and her soft wavy mahogany hair fell down her back. She leaned back and shook her hair out a little and when she did she basically shoved her boobs in my face. I could feel myself getting even harder. Shit, shit, shit.

"Ma'am you really need to stop. Please." I told her trying not to look at her cleavage that was right in front of me.

"You know I really like it when you beg." She said. This was the first time that she had spoken.

I knew that voice. My head shot right back to face her and I reached up and pulled the mask from her face.

"Bella?" I questioned.

She giggled. "Actually, tonight it's Vicky to you." She smiled at me.

I tried to wrap my arms around her and she pushed my hands back down to my sides.

"Uh, uh Mr. Cullen. No touching." She told me.

I smirked at her as she started to grind herself down on my erection. She began rubbing her crotch back and forth over me. I was starting to get really worked up. Then she stood up and slowly started to dance in front of me. I was never so thankful for voicing my concerns to her earlier.

"You know that you were a really good boy for telling me that you were married Mr. Cullen. You're wife is a very lucky woman." She said and then knelt down in front of me. She started to stroke my cock through my jeans. "Mmmm…. Very, very lucky." She said.

Before I could even comprehend what was going on she had unzipped my pants and was tugging them down past my hips.

"Bella…" I started to say but she was shaking her head at me. "I mean Vicky, do you really think that we should be doing this here?" I asked her.

"Mmm… I definitely think we should since I paid for the room for the next hour." She smirked at me.

Suddenly she had her hot little mouth wrapped around my cock. She was stroking what wouldn't fit into her mouth with her hand and she was cupping my balls with her other hand.

"Mmmm.. baby you taste so good." She said as she slipped me out of her mouth and licked around the head of my cock. The precum was seeping out of me. "I really can't wait to taste your hot jizz spurting down my throat."

Holy Shit! Where in the hell did this girl come from? She licked up from the base of my cock and then started sucking on me again. I saw her one hand leave my balls and travel down below to her crotch.

"Shit baby, are you touching yourself?" I managed to gasp out between ragged breaths.

She moaned against me and I could feel the tightening in my stomach. I grabbed hold of the couch to try and stop myself from lifting up off the sofa and literally fucking her mouth.

She started to moan louder and I knew she was getting close herself. Suddenly the tightening in my stomach let loose and I shot myself right into her hot little mouth. It didn't stop her for one minute. She continued to grind down on her hand until she came right after me.

She stood up and smiled at me. She brought her hand out from her underwear and brought her fingers over to my lips. "Want a taste?" She asked me. I opened my mouth and she stuck her fingers inside. God she was wet and tasted so fucking good.

"You know that was a great sample but I think I'm really hungry right now." I told her. Before she could register what was happening I yanked her panties right off her and threw them to the side. I pulled her closer to my face and buried my tongue as deep as it would go inside her pussy.

I pulled her left leg up and placed it over my right shoulder. She grabbed hold of my hair to steady herself and I immediately felt her cum all over my tongue. I continued my assault on her until she had couldn't stand anymore.

I released her leg and pulled her back down to straddle my once again engorged cock. She was so wet that she slipped right inside. I grabbed her hips and started to move her up and down on top of me. I released her hips for a moment and reached behind her to remove the lacy bra that had taunted me all night. Once that was gone I started to suck on her nipples. I had one in my mouth and the other one I had pinched between my fingers. Then I reached down between us and started to play with her clit. Yep, I'm multi talented!

She was so fucking tight and I just couldn't take it anymore. I quickly lifted her up and flipped us so that she was laying on her back on the couch. I started to pound into her.

"Ugghhh, ahhh, ohhhh…. Edward…. Shit….. You're so fucking huge. Please, please….." was all she could say.

"What do you need my love? Tell me." I encouraged her.

"Shit….. Harder….. Faster…. Pleassssseeee….."

I would give my wife anything she wanted. I lifted both of her legs up and put them on top of my shoulders while I continued to pound into her. At this angle though I was hitting her g spot with every thrust.

"Ahhhhhhhh….." She screamed as she let her orgasm envelope her. I quickly followed and slowed my thrusts.

I laid down on top of her but tried to keep some of my weight off of her by holding myself up on my forearms. I reached down and captured her lips with my own. I kissed her and she kissed me back.

"Happy Birthday Edward." She told me.

"I can't believe you did that. How long have you been planning this?" I asked her.

She giggled. "For a couple of months now. Rose, Alice and I took some aerobics classes and then we heard about this pole dancing course that was suppose to help keep you in shape. I tried it out and thought what the hell! Did you like?" She asked me.

"Are you kidding? I loved it. I'm not too thrilled that my brothers and several other people got to see you parade around in your underwear but I definitely loved it." I said while leaning down to kiss her lips again.

"And you don't know how happy I am that you didn't want to get a lap dance from some strange woman. That definitely earned you some brownie points." She smiled up at me.

"So, we have this room for a whole hour huh?" I asked her.

"Yep." She smiled up at me and then kissed me again.

This time I took my time with her and we made love on that couch and made good use of every single minute of that hour. By the time we were done she had slipped back into her regular clothes. I pulled her in for a kiss and told her I would meet her back at home in a little bit. Then I made my way back out to see Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, They were both sitting at the bar taking shots. They both looked like they were two sheets to the wind.

I walked up to them and slapped them both on the backs.

"Ready to go guys?" I said.

"Damn man you smell like sex." Emmett said. I just grinned.

Jasper looked like he was ready to puke. "Yeah, take me home. I have to go clean my eyes with bleach." He said to me.

"What's wrong with you two?" I asked them.

"What do you mean what's wrong with us. We just had to witness little Bella up there shaking her goodies for you. That is definitely something I never thought I'd have to witness." Jasper said. "I mean, she's like my little sister."

I just laughed at him.

"Yeah she is." Emmett said. "But damn man, she does have a nice rack."

"That she does." I smiled at him. "You just better hope Rosalie doesn't know you were looking at it." I told him.

Emmett's face got pale and he reached for another shot.

"Come on you two. Let's get you home. I have a date with a sexy vampire!" I told them.

**Okay, so what did you think! This was totally a one-shot deal that I had rambling around in my head. I guess that's what happens when you're off on medical leave and can't do anything! I promise that I will be updating 'You Saved Me' soon! I just needed to let loose and do something a little fun tonight! I hope you all enjoyed!**

**Leave me a review and let me know! **

**Also, Thank you to everyone that has sent such kind words to me! My surgery went well and I'm on the mend! **


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